A Happy Marriage is the Union of Two Forgivers

The topic of pride is always a humbling one.  Every time I read President Benson’s amazing talk I’m reminded of the countless things I need to work on.  Pride encompasses so many behaviors, thought processes, and habits, after all, and sometimes the idea of overcoming these things – ultimately overcoming the “natural man” in me – seems laughingly unattainable.  H. Wallace Goddard, PhD talks in his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, about pride and humility in a marriage and how an abundance of one or the other can either solidify or destroy it.  I’m grateful he ends on a hopeful note in encouraging his readers to seek personal improvement with an open, repentant heart instead of focusing on the ways we perceive our spouse needing to change.  In Goddard’s words of wisdom, “…acceptance may be more important than change in strong marriages.”

It’s a universal truth that Satan thrives on contention and misunderstandings.  And when he’s working with us in our weakest state, it can take virtually zero effort to gradually mold us into feeling doubtful, threatened, or angry by the smallest things.  This wears on a marriage fast, all the while giving Satan a huge confidence boost.  “…He must take special delight when people who have promised to bless and encourage each other throw their best efforts into hurting and defeating each other.”

Thankfully, President Ezra Taft Benson, has told us that “the antidote for pride is humility – meekness, submissiveness, … a broken heart and contrite spirit.”  Goddard has described humility as “the friend of truth,” and repeatedly links it to not only a sincere change of heart, but a reliance on Christ, which will ultimately help us see our spouse the way He does and better understand his/her perspective. 

I know from experience that when I get caught up in the busyness of life and skip out on the standard habits that keep me linked to my Father in Heaven, I am much more likely to lean on my own understanding and focus on what I perceive my husband is doing wrong instead of trying to identify my own faults and seek his perspective.  I’m grateful we are both learning to give each other the benefit of the doubt.  In Goddard’s words, “a happy marriage is the union of two forgivers.”